The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
