I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
