this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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