K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
