Having a random hookup so left but love u
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
