Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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