she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
