i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
