Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
