Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
