:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
