She announced her abortion via fbk
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
