You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize