I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
