Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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