You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
