Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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