there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize