Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i out mim tonsoeep
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
