Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
