Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
