quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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