we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
