now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
