im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
