do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You pole danced in your parka.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
