now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Randomize
