ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
