fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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