We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize