she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
