my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
