And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
