The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
