..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
