we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I will pee on everything he values.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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