I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize