I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
