walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
