I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
