my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Alive.
So much puke
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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