Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
