you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
