If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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