we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
