Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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