even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
