yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
