wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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