it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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