it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
