BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
