Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
