Me. At least after what I've been through.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
