You smell like stripper and shame
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
In America we eat man semen.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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