Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
