You made me cry and you don't even care
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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