Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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