Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
