i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
