Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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