She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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