They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
