me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
