Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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