is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
only you would photoshop your dick
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
