whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
