when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
