You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize