One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
