i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
lol hangovers are for mortals.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
