i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
