So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
