I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
