That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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