Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just blew my weed a kiss
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
