Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
